One of my most viewed posts in the last couple months was called Girl Drama. It was my story of lost and struggling relationships.
Well, I have a new story to share with you.
One of my fatal flaws is not being able to let go of lost relationships. I’m unable to let go of people because I’ve grown so attached to them.
Now, I’ve been like this most of my life. I know why it happens, but yet at the same time I’ve never been able to recognize when I need to just let things happen as they will.
Because of my past experiences with relationships and friends, I become too attached. At a young age I lost tears over friendships I thought were strong, but they burned away just as quickly. I find a friend who seems near to my heart, but I soon become too close for comfort. Clingy. Attached to the point where I always want to be around her…but…she doesn’t always really want to be around me.
Late this year I found myself in a similar situation.
One of my best friends(of a year and a half) moved onto high school, along with another friend. Now we texted for a while and everything but…soon I became jealous. They were spending every day together, doing what I used to do with her…with each other. My heart shattered, and even though I tried to hide it…it hurt to see them that way.
I’m not quite sure why.
Maybe it was because I had been that close with her just under a year ago…or maybe I missed her more than I thought.
For about 3 months, this went on. She stopped answering my calls, my texts. I noticed that our relationship was growing more and more distant with each passing day.
And for those 3 months, my emotions became more and more drawn out, and I became more and more desperate to try and fix what i thought had been broken.
But at some point I had to take my own advice. Friendship isn’t a responsibility. It’s also not something that malfunctions and can be fixed with a few tweaks here and there. Not only is it a mutual contract, but it’s a process. And sometimes, when that process slows down, you have to let it rest. And then you have to let it come back to you. Not the other way around. Because trying it the other way around will just wear it out more.
It takes experience to learn that. It takes heart. Sometimes, you have to break down completely before you can rebuild yourself.
Nobody knows that until they’re forced to face it. Nobody can tell you that, because it takes true emotion to know that sometimes, and really most of the time, the tears just aren’t worth that person. No matter how close they were to you.
It’s an important virtue in life to know when the battle is over and there’s nothing more to do. But it’s a virtue that can’t be taught.
It can only be learned through experience.
The most painful goodbyes are the ones that are never said, and never explained.
But at some point, you have to realize that some people can stay in your heart, but not in you life.
-Kaybae ❤ ❤ ❤
Have any feedback? Maybe another opinion? Like the post? Hate the post? Got a comment? I’ll be sure to respond.