As an early teenager in the upper class of middle school, I’ve had my experiences with drama, bullying, and counseling. It’s a stage in life that no one wants to endure, yet I’ve come to appreciate it.
My entire life I’ve had experiences with bullying of some sort, or some type of drama with friends. From first grade up until sixth were my worst times, especially in first and second grade.
Like most children at that age, I was gullible, and susceptible to lies. This was something that was exploited in my childhood. My friends would poke and prod that weakness, telling me things that they knew weren’t true, trying to see how for they could go before I started to doubt them. One of my friends even bit me in second grade, after she told me that she was a vampire. Believing her, I asked her to, wanting to become, “one of them”, as well.
But nothing ended there. After moving to a new school, it was difficult for me to make friends. From third to fifth grade, I had more trouble. Third was rough, simply me just trying to find friends. It was fourth and fifth grade that I struggled with, at least in elementary school. After I finally found some girls who I thought I could spend time with, another problem arose. I suddenly felt abandoned, and I found myself alone again.
However, what really hit me the hardest was sixth grade.
I met a friend about two weeks into summer school who was the same age as me. In the beginning of the school year, she introduced me to some of her other friends. We got along well. But as always, what I consider to be the biggest conflict I’ve faced in my entire school career decided to take a seat right next to me at the lunch table.
I’d heard about girls being two-faced; but that didn’t mean I was ready for the possibility of one. We all know what two-faced people do. They’ll act as though they want to be your friend. Then they’ll turn around and speak in a completely opposite manner.
Now I know many of you are probably thinking; no surprise. She’s a teenager. She’s in middle school. It happens.
But there’s a reason I’m telling you of my background.
After that sixth grade year, I changed. My attitude changed. Basically, I said, “Screw It. I’m done with this crap.”
I gave up on trying to make things work, trying to fight a losing battle. It just wasn’t worth it anymore. I’m glad I experienced it, because it now gives me a glance at what others are feeling.
Because now, I’m on the other side.
Now, I have a friend who’s in a similar situation to what I was in.
She’s in need of a friend who will stay by her. Desperate for it, even. So much to the point where every time she doesn’t like something I do, she’ll call me out on it because she just doesn’t like it.
She’ll shun me for a day, then come back perky as ever, because, from where I see it, she’s pissed at me, but she doesn’t want to lose a friend.
But the thing is, that neediness, that drama, and the negativity she gives off at each and every tiny thing she doesn’t like? That is what stops me from wanting to invite her to parties, to events, and from wanting to go with her when she proposes the idea of an event.
As my parents say, she’s one of those friends who you can only spend so much time with.
So here’s message I’m trying to send;
To the kids reading this – Do your absolute best not to seem that way in her situation.
If you’re in my position, be tolerant. Don’t lash out. But also, you don’t have to put up with everything.
To the parents – If your child is in my position, give the advice my parents have given me –
Be Honest. Be Caring. Be Accepting. Be Respectful.
Friendship is built upon these basic factors. Know that friendship is not a responsibility. It’s a mutual, unspoken contract between two or more people.
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